As customary, since it is technically my last day at home for the summer, I thought I would do a post about my summer reflections.
This summer has been great. I learned a lot about myself and what I want, something I never before realized. I grew a greater sense of who I was as a journalist and a person. I finally realized that I am worth more than I have thought I was and am not going to let people just treat me like crap and tolerate it. I’m better than that am good enough. I just need to find the right people that will respect that. I found what I want my niche as a journalist to be and embarked on a new project where I can share that with people. And on top of all that, I finally found my personal style, all thanks to my wonderful job at Forever 21.
My wonderful (and sometimes ridiculous) job was what kept me busy the most this summer. If I probably did the calculation, I think that I spent wake-able hours at Forever 21 Park Meadows than my actual house. Which in the end, turned out to be fine because I learned a lot about what they refer to as “fast fashion” while working among the best group of coworkers (if any of you guys are reading this, here’s a shout out to you all for being awesome :)). We don’t always get to choose our coworkers, but something about the people that work at Forever 21 are so eclectic and unique that you can’t find anywhere else. We all contributed something to the sales associate team and all got along so well. I’ll admit that it’s the one thing about work I’ll actually miss.That, and having access to the clothing in my favorite clothing store of all time.I also learned things that I realized I may not have been OK with in the past, but am desensitized to it now, and can look past it to see the greater picture. It was a great first job for me. I learned about my work ethic and learned that I can gain the respect I have coveted from my coworkers and managers. All I wanted was a chance to show that I can work and I am so blessed to have gotten that chance.
I also learned about friendship and true friends. I’ll admit that over winter and into early spring, I was going through a rough patch with my friends and if they are reading this, they will know exactly what I’m talking about. It was hard for me to accept the fact that maybe we were growing apart just when I wasn’t ready to quite yet after reminiscing all the memories we had in the fall. Like in the case of all things, time does heal. Long story short, if someone really wants to be a part of your life, they will make just as much effort as you do to be a part of theirs. I always appreciate when people take the time and just shoot me a text to see how I’m doing. It makes me feel as if there is a two sided relationship, not one where one person is making all the effort. I also had to accept the cold hard truth that if it’s not meant to be, then just let it be, especially if you know that it is no fault of yours. On that note, it is best to just be mature about it, as you want to be the bigger person to show you aren’t as immature as the other person involved. JUST LET IT GO. There is no need to be bittersweet about the whole thing.
That being said, the same goes for crushes. Unfortunately, it’s not a crush if you don’t get crushed. Or you can look at it as God’s way of telling you that you deserve better. Still, it sucks. Especially when they stop talking to you for no legitimate reason. The best is to move on and to just throw yourself into your work and hope that someone will come into your life and be intrigued by you and your desires and will want to play the role of your Prince Charming.
The last thing I want to touch on is my thoughts for the upcoming school year. Yes, of course I am ecstatic to be back in Fort Collins with all of my friends I haven’t seen in the last three months, but at the same time, I’m also very anxious. Truth be told, I get anxious a lot and sometimes, for things I can’t control. I end up making a problem out of nothing. I’m anxious as to whether or not my friendships will last. We are all living in different places and my fear is that I will eventually become forgotten by the people who I don’t want to forget. Everyone I have told about this lingering anxiety has told me the same thing of how it will all work out in the end and if they are true friends they will make it work. The hard part is just letting myself be OK with everything that is going to happen. Some of it I can control, and some of it I can’t. I just have to hope that everything will play out like it is suppose to and that everything will be all right in the end.
Each summer, I feel like I grow as a person. I’m always learning new parts about myself and what I want. This summer made a difference in how I see myself, because it’s always been in a negative light. For once it seems like I’m beginning to see myself in a positive manner and I really like it because it is turning me into a more confident person.
FoCo better get ready because this girl is coming back to kick some ass and take some names 😉